Reflecting | On a Journey to Discover Me

I've decided it's time that I should discover who and what I'm meant to be in life.  I have always thought that when you are thirty you should have your life in order and know who and what you are, but I was so wrong in thinking that! 

When I was a little girl I always wanted to be a Teacher. ( I guess that many kids wanted to be a teacher at that stage), but I even had a small blackboard and chalk and played that I'm a teacher. I think when I was in St.1 (Grade 3) I told myself no way do I want to be a teacher, just look at how rude the kids are!? 😄

Then when I was in St. 3 (Grade 5) then I was introduced to the world of Computers at school I was excited. This is really "cool" and I don't mind working in this field!  Then not long after that what on earth are you thinking Leanie? Do you really want to sit day and night behind a Computer how boring would that be!? No thank you, very much, but I will give this a pass. [ lol, yeah right who are typing now on a computer in the early morning hours?] 

Then came my High School years and I've taken Accounting as a subject. I remember that my mom has told me that if you fail Accounting you will take Art. Girl, have I studied the theory part of that subject for the first test like there is no tomorrow! 😆 So I wrote my first test and I have passed that test with flying colours! 

At the end of the first term, Accounting was my best subject I thought maybe this could be it you know!?  Little did I know that coming to the second term I was failing that subject. My grades were good, but the exam has resulted that I didn't receive 50% on my report card. 

My final year of school in St 10 (Grade 12) I wanted to be a Home Economics Teacher. So we went to Cape Colledge and ask if they offer the course and was advised that we should go to Cape Technicon since they cater in this field. 

Arrived at Cape Technikon and then was advised if I want to be a Home Economics Teacher I would have to study a Hospitality course and then apply for an abridged course in Education. I made the calculations in my head and that would equal to about 7 years! 😮 

So I have applied to be a normal school teacher instead.  Years down the road and had my own class teaching Grade 5. I've made the biggest mistake of my life!  I hated every minute at the school.

During the morning of the third term, I was sitting in the car on the parking lot and crying my heart out.  I just could face another day!  I felt like a bird caged in. So I just went back home instead.  It's not that I didn't like teaching, but the environment was hell!  So I have resigned on the third term 13 July 2010.  

The Education system has broken my spirit so down that I had been diagnosed with depression. It's not a walk in the park at all.  

Later I have created a little job for me being a Social Media Manager and I was hoping that this would lead to greater things, but yet again I was a fool. I just couldn't handle the environment any longer it has felt many times as if someone has put a belt around my chest and keeps pulling at it! 

December I have resigned and it felt for the first time that I could actually breathe and had a pleasant night rest! 

This year I have decided that I need to be still and to discover what and who I'm supposed to be.  

I'm in the process where I really want to reconnect with Jesus.  During late 2017 I felt in my heart that Jesus is pulling me to come closer. 

I want to know what His plans are for my life.  I'm not sure where that path would lead me. I'm anxious to know, but yet a little scared at the same time. Does that even make sense to you!?  

I know that I should stop trying to be and just let God transform me.  

Recently I have read that "when you discover what your dream is - your unique purpose - your whole life would change". I'm looking forward to discover what my purpose is in life.  I want to wake up and to know that I make a difference and that it has meaning!

I know that I would only discover this through Jesus and it's up to me to allow Him to take the wheel of my life. 

• Have you discovered your purpose in life yet? 
• How does that make you feel? 

Stay blessed,