Letting Go of a Friendship

The year 2007 was a year that I mostly never want to have over again - ever! 2007 was the year that I just couldn't cope anymore and everything have just been too much for me...

During December that year I met a friend. I have met the person on-line and slowly my life started to change for the better. I have written a post earlier this year here of how I have met him and also that I have decided to make right with God. 

For a very long time I have always thought of him, especially on days that was very difficult for me and then I would have thought I wonder what he would have said to me. I miss the days that we could have nearly e-talked about anything under the sun. That year he was the person that have gave me the courage to start living again. 

He didn't know that I had depression.  I haven't said anything to him about how I have felt.  During that dark time I have felt so alone that I just wanted a friend that I can talk too.  

Years have gone by and I have always hoped that maybe I would meet him in some strange way, but life doesn't work like that. Real life isnt at all like the movies or even the story books that you read. 

I have came to the conclusion that I should do a proper Spring Cleaning that would remind me of him.  So I have deleted every single message and e-mail that I had from him. It was a bit hard to deleted every e-mail knowingly that it would be gone forever! 

Do you know what was for me the hardest part of it all?  Do pray about this. Some of you might think - huh? But God know's the deepest secrets of our heart.  I know he knows mine and at times that scary to think about!  I can't do this on my own, believe me I have tried and I have failed, since I have treasured the friendship for such a long time that I had to seek Him.  Guiding me - directing my heart!! 

Saying "goodbye" to a friendship that have met the world to you during a period of your life and that have meant the world to you "aint no easy at all!" Yet, it's something that I needed to do to go forward with my life. I can't keep longing to the past it would just give me an aching heart... 

I know that I have had to met you for a reason and that's, because God have allowed this to happemd so that I would be connected with Him. You have planted the seed in my heart and God have let it germinate. 

I just want to say "Thank you" that you were willing that God could use you to save me. My wish for you are that your dream would come true one day.  You are an amazing person - don't change - stay true to who you are!