#THE GIRL GANG PRESENTS |DAY2 | WHAT I'M THANKFUL FOR

Good Morning Beauties,

i don't know who gave this topic for today's challenge, but i think that it's great, that it made to the list!  At first when i've noticed this topic - i thought to myself "Mmm? What am i going to write about!?" The reason for my first response are that i felt unappreciated. I work for a place that would say that they value what i do, but sadly it doesn't reflect in my bank balance at all! Secondly most of my days i sit on my bum and work most of the time on my Laptop. I didn't feel that i have any reason or reasons to be thankful for anything in my entire life.

Then I remember that i was so sick recently twice this month to be honest and now that i feel much better that i can do the things before i felt ill, that is a reason alone to be grateful, but that's not what i want to tell you about, what i'm really thankful for.

During my studies to become a teacher i was diagnosed with depression in 2007. During that time i remember that one day a thought came to my mind "I think that i need to switch my desktop on and update my Anti-Virus programme and check my e-mails.

I logged into my e-mail account and i've received  an invite from a friend of mine that wanted me to join a site.  I checked the site out and decided to join it.  Long story short little did i know at the time that it was actually a dating site.

One of the people that i chatted with ask me if "I'm a Christian"?  I was like (thinking) never in my entire life have someone ask me such a question and to be honest i wasn't sure either! Yes, i did the Sunday School, went to Church etc.

The reason is that nobody ask me ever this question are the fact that my parents worked for the church and most of my school holidays i spend my time at the Church so no one would even ask such a question,but to be honest i think it's easier if someone ask you this type of question via a SM platform than face to face conversation.

While this question was still on my screen i just felt just tell him the truth.  So i replied by saying something in this line. "I'm not sure" and the reply message was "Jesus loves you" and he also gave me his number so that i  can send him a Mxit msg, but i wasn't on Mxit (my cell didn't had access to the Internet, thus no chatting app etc) but that night i just couldn't sleep at all. I was tossing and turning until i couldn't take it any longer.

I kneel beside my bed  during the early morning hours and i just talked to God. i can't remember  what i said, but i just opened up and had a chat with Him. After that heartfelt talking session i felt different, happy, excited and i didn't had a worry in the world, since i know that I've got God on my side and i felt that i could manage any problem that would be ahead of me!

I was so happy (out of skin happiness) that i wanted to share my new found faith with him!

I will always be grateful that he didn't told me this and the friendship that we had i will always treasure it. Next year it would be 10 years - wow time flies!

Here are a poem that i've written during December 2008. It sums up clearly of how i felt during that time. 

NEW BEGINNINGS 

One night as I was lying in bed 

I just couldn’t sleep at all

Keep tossing and turning 

Around and around all night

Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore

It’s as if something were budging at me 

All night long… 

So I climb out of bed

Went down on my knees

Poured my heart out to God

Was welcomed into His family 

My sins was totally forgiven

Oh, how good that felt! 

Such peace, I’ve never felt before!

My emotions was overwhelming me

Wanted to dance, sing and praise You

Wanted to shout Your name 

From the mountain tops!

© Léanie Foot  

Another poem that i want to share with you that i've written 

 BEFORE YOU

Before You
I were so lost
had an empty 
feeling inside....

My heart were aching 
had a longing for Your love

I were stubborn,
selfish at time,
'cause I wanted to
be in control of my life

Slowly but surely
You showed me
that I’m nothing....

Still I didn't want
to listen....
'till I fell flat on my face!!

You were the One
to pick me up
to carry me
and to surround
me with Your love
that I couldn't hide from....

I opened my heart...
let You in and fell
in love with You! 

 © Léanie Foot  

Written on 26th May 2008 – 7:37 am 

 To be honest at times i wish that we could have stayed friends, i just hope that one day i will know why things turned out like this. Strange enough he was the only person that i know i could trust, i could speak to him about anything, maybe we just clicked in a way, because he was also studying in teaching - just in a different University.

I'm thankful for friends that came along our life, some are there to stay for a limited time, but everyone we met makes us of the people we became. During this short lived friendship i will always remember to be grateful for certain values that he had like honesty. It have impacted me in such a way that i try to be like that. Always to tell the truth no matter what even when we want to tell a little lie, but it's much easier to remember the truth than the lie. HONESTY ARE THE BEST POLICY.

I'm not sure if you will ever see this message "J" , but if you do read this i just want to thank you for everything that you meant to me during that dark time that i was facing. J you have told me the most important message that so many people needed to hear - thank you. 

During 2008 i wrote another poem to get some closer one the friendship and that i had to say goodbye.  I had many friendships during my life, but none that have meant so much to me, thus i will end my post with my poem that i've written called Farewell.

FAREWELL

Farewell my love

You were so special 

So loving and kind… 

My heart aches so much

I wish it could be different

I know that I must let you go 

But it’s so hard

I can’t live with out you

You mean so much to me

All those memories that we’ve shared

Will always be special to me 

If only I can 

See you, 

Hear your loving voice

Feel your arms around me

if only...

I have to let you go 

Farewell my love

© Léanie Foot 

# October 2008 

Stay blessed,